And you wonder why some guys decide to remain Single.
Crippling divorces..
Some years back my best friend and coworker for 25 years married a woman who just about destroyed him mentally and financially within their 18 months of marriage. It was horrific to watch. He took off of work for weeks at a time and stopped communicating with me at one point. I told him if he didn't return my messages or answer the door I was going to call the cops to do a welfare check. He called me back (fully drunk) and told me what was going on at the time. He nearly lost his job but pulled himself together, came back to work and filed for divorce.
Last year one of the best workers and most reliable guys in my department started having attendance issues. When I sat him down to talk about it he showed me some texts from his Wife. Vicious, rambling accusations that were hard for me to believe to be true of the guy. I asked if he needed a leave of absence to work things out. He said no, and resigned. Said he just couldn't continue working due to the stress. Two kids under 10 years old and he walked away from a secure, $75K job with full benefits. Nothing I said could convince him to stay.
Up until being laid off from my previous job in 2016, my right hand man and I had worked there together for 10 years. He still works there, and has been with the company for 33 years. I heard from a friend that he'd been out on medical leave for three months, and he was asking for my phone number. He called me last week, just to talk. Said that his Wife of 20+ years had disappeared, along with all of the money in their joint accounts. She will not contact him, and he's filed for divorce. Absolutely devastated and says he feels that his life is over (he assured me that he's not suicidal).
I wish I could do or say something truly meaningful to help in these situations but it feels like watching a friend bleeding badly, and there's nothing I or anyone else can do to stop it.
Last year one of the best workers and most reliable guys in my department started having attendance issues. When I sat him down to talk about it he showed me some texts from his Wife. Vicious, rambling accusations that were hard for me to believe to be true of the guy. I asked if he needed a leave of absence to work things out. He said no, and resigned. Said he just couldn't continue working due to the stress. Two kids under 10 years old and he walked away from a secure, $75K job with full benefits. Nothing I said could convince him to stay.
Up until being laid off from my previous job in 2016, my right hand man and I had worked there together for 10 years. He still works there, and has been with the company for 33 years. I heard from a friend that he'd been out on medical leave for three months, and he was asking for my phone number. He called me last week, just to talk. Said that his Wife of 20+ years had disappeared, along with all of the money in their joint accounts. She will not contact him, and he's filed for divorce. Absolutely devastated and says he feels that his life is over (he assured me that he's not suicidal).
I wish I could do or say something truly meaningful to help in these situations but it feels like watching a friend bleeding badly, and there's nothing I or anyone else can do to stop it.
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Been there done that. My ex bailed out after 32 yr for a Doctor. All you can do is turn to God, Family and Friends. It's not worth holding a grudge because that will kill you inside.Some years back my best friend and coworker for 25 years married a woman who just about destroyed him mentally and financially within their 18 months of marriage. It was horrific to watch. He took off of work for weeks at a time and stopped communicating with me at one point. I told him if he didn't return my messages or answer the door I was going to call the cops to do a welfare check. He called me back (fully drunk) and told me what was going on at the time. He nearly lost his job but pulled himself together, came back to work and filed for divorce.
Last year one of the best workers and most reliable guys in my department started having attendance issues. When I sat him down to talk about it he showed me some texts from his Wife. Vicious, rambling accusations that were hard for me to believe to be true of the guy. I asked if he needed a leave of absence to work things out. He said no, and resigned. Said he just couldn't continue working due to the stress. Two kids under 10 years old and he walked away from a secure, $75K job with full benefits. Nothing I said could convince him to stay.
Up until being laid off from my previous job in 2016, my right hand man and I had worked there together for 10 years. He still works there, and has been with the company for 33 years. I heard from a friend that he'd been out on medical leave for three months, and he was asking for my phone number. He called me last week, just to talk. Said that his Wife of 20+ years had disappeared, along with all of the money in their joint accounts. She will not contact him, and he's filed for divorce. Absolutely devastated and says he feels that his life is over (he assured me that he's not suicidal).
I wish I could do or say something truly meaningful to help in these situations but it feels like watching a friend bleeding badly, and there's nothing I or anyone else can do to stop it.
I wish your friends luck.
I have two nephews and four male first cousins between the ages of 20 and 35, all of them are single and have independently told they will never marry due to the fear of financial destruction of a divorce.
What happens to our country if the welfare moms keep having kids and the good men avoid marriage like the plague?
What happens to our country if the welfare moms keep having kids and the good men avoid marriage like the plague?
Been there done it! They try and destroy you so they get all your benefits!! Sad but when the kids get older they will read everything that she and the evil mother did!!
You have to think of the kids! And you have to be a part of there life!
A good friend in the Army told me this, "It's like Mel Gibson in Brave Heart yelling FREEDOM as your guts get ripped out". His house was empty and boarded up and his truck and wife were gone on our return from Iraq.
No worries the Govt will steal their wealth to ensure the Queens are taken care of. I have been watching mine go for decades. I'm 55 with no kids, Ever.I have two nephews and four male first cousins between the ages of 20 and 35, all of them are single and have independently told they will never marry due to the fear of financial destruction of a divorce.
What happens to our country if the welfare moms keep having kids and the good men avoid marriage like the plague?
My 46 year old son has never been married and has no plans to do so. He told me that he has seen too many friends lives destroyed by divorces. He has had several live ins over the years and when they figure out that he will not marry then, they bail. One girl was with him for 8 years.
Difference is that he still has all of his stuff and his house and his dog.
Difference is that he still has all of his stuff and his house and his dog.
I got married at the age of 30...28OCT2011.... I'd been back in country for only 8 months...and was completely out of my mind. I left the last time, October of '21... Filed for divorce, March of '23.... After several weeks, had to hire a private process server; because the sheriff's department was unable to serve her.... Court has come and gone..., 22MAY2023....took less than 5 minutes undo 12 years of torment... The divorce was approved, and the judge signed off on it that day. But even being gone for going on 2 years, I am only just now beginning to come around... It will take me years to recover from this. .....and it's not quite over with... We have another court date on the 26th of June. ....to hash out the child custody. I was thinking about it yesterday, if my mind wasn't gone; I could write a book about this.... This has been utterly horrendous, the past 12 years. I suppose, the more time that passes in the further eye grow from this, the more I will see just how horrible it was... My psyche is, has been absolutely crushed... While I would marry again... That probably won't be an option at this age... Like I say, it will take a very long time to recover emotionally / mentally... not to mention, rebuild my 'brochure'... I wish at one point, I would have realized that selfless service is not all it's cracked up to be.
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