Humorous Vietnam Stories

There are a LOT of books available that can give you a good view of what the war was like from the perspective of the various roles our soldiers played. Gary Linderer has some good ones on Recon. John Plaster has a decent book on SOG (I spent two tours with SOG, so I may be a little critical of anything said about it). As for humorous stories, there were things that we thought funny at the time, that aren't really so funny in retrospect. Most of the things that still bring a smile happened on R&R and not in Vietnam. Sorry. I am as proud or prouder of what I did in Vietnam (and Cambodia and Laos) as I am of anything else I have done in my life. Many of the friendships I formed there are closer than the relationships I have with my blood family. We made the best of the situation, and some of it was fun from viewpoint of a young man, but looking back on it today there was very little I would call funny. Having said all that, I would still go back and do it all again in a heartbeat given the option.

K2

Never be afraid to ask questions, its the only way to learn. Most of us that served in Vietnam aren't sensitive about our service there or honest questions about what we did. We're sensitive about the way we were treated when we got home. SOG was originally an acronym for Special Operations Group, but was changed to represent Studies and Observation Group to help maintain the deniability of our covert military nature. It didn't fool anybody. If I sounded like I was coming down hard on you, its only because I wanted to convey the fact that war is not fun or glorious. War is a minute by minute fight for survival while trying to accomplish your mission. Actually, the mission comes first, survival second! The reality of fighting a determined enemy at 35-1 odds, dwindling ammunition supplies, no food or water remaining, dark coming, enemy reinforcements coming, and then seeing your extraction chopper shot down 100 feet away from you with the loss of the entire crew kinda takes the humor out of the situation. There actually are some humerous stories to be told, but you have to remember that they are the exception and not the rule. If I can think of any that won't get anyone in trouble or that are outside the statutes of limitations, I'll try to send them to you.

K2

The last time i heard that story, it was based around a fire base and a reporter.

The reporter got off a chopper, and heard a bullet wiz over his head... to which he screamed sniper to a group of nearby soldiers, who laughed at him and said "Yeah, he nearly got you!".

The author of the story was the reporter, and said later he found out the Lt of the base had done a deal with the sniper (who was forced to use the rifle by the VC). The deal was that the sniper would always miss, so long as the Americans didnt kill him.

As the story went, the commanding officer of the fire base changed, and the sniper took a pot shot missing him when he landed. Despite having been told the "arrangement", the new officer had the sniper tracked down and killed... so of course the VC had him replaced, and the new sniper killed 4 soldiers.

As I said though... I have heard numerous other variations.
I have always been interested in the Vietnam war... an ambition of mine is to go through jungle warfare training.

The following is an exerpt from the book War Story by Jim Morris. Morris was assaulting a hill with a company of Nungs and an Australian advisor when he is hit in the left testicle.


"It was a slapping sting, really hard, and then it went numb. The thing, I think, that stopped me from pursuing this matter any further was something I had read, or heard somewhere, about your testicles being made up of thousands of feet of tiny filaments all rolled up in a ball in your scrotum. I got this rapid mental image of my scrotum being broken and all those filaments rolling out as I tried to charge on up that hill. I saw them thin as thread, pink and glittering, dragging down in the mud, and me charging the hill, stepping on them in my cleated jungle boots, stopping my own rapid charge with a jerk. Yes, I belive that mental image did it. I lost all interest in personally taking that hill at that moment."


And a few paragraphs later.


"We skinned down my pants for a look. It was very strange. The trousers were covered with blood, but they were not broken. Apparently the round had just plowed a furrow across my pants. If I'd been wearing jockey shorts it wouldn't have touched me at all. But as it was there was complete trauma and the scrotum was swollen and bruised black all over. It looked like a rather large eggplant covered with blond hair. My poor little penis, on the other hand, had shriveled almost to the point of disappearance. Another inch and it would have been concave."


If you haven't read War Story by Jim Morris....make it a point to.