I thought this was pretty good and you guys in the military would like it
-THE IMAGE OF RANK-
A GENERAL:
LEAPS TALL BUILDINGS IN A SINGLE BOUND,
IS MORE POWERFUL THAN A LOCOMOTIVE, IS FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET,
WALKS ON WATER, AND GIVES POLICY TO GOD.
A COLONEL:
LEAPS SHORT BUILDINGS WITH A SINGLE BOUND,
IS MORE POWERFUL THAN A SWITCH ENGINE, IS JUST AS FAST AS A SPEEDING BULLET,
WALKS ON WATER IF THE SEA IS CALM, AND TALKS TO GOD.
A LIEUTENANT COLONEL:
LEAPS SHORT BUILDINGS WITH A RUNNING START AND A FAVORABLE WIND,
IS ALMOST AS POWERFUL AS A SWITCH ENGINE, IS FASTER THAN A SPEEDING B-B,
WALKS ON WATER IN AN INDOOR SWIMMING POOL, AND TALKS TO GOD “IF” A SPECIAL REQUEST IS APPROVED OF.
A MAJOR:
BARELY CLEARS QUONSET HUTS, LOSES TUG OF WAR WITH LOCOMOTIVES,
CAN FIRE A SPEEDING BULLET, SWIMS WELL, AND IS OCCASIONALLY ADDRESSED BY GOD.
A CAPTAIN:
MAKES HIGH MARKS WHEN TRYING TO LEAP BUILDINGS,
IS RUN OVER BY LOCOMOTIVES, CAN SOMETIMES HANDLE A GUN WITHOUT INFLICTING SELF-INJURY,
CAN DOG-PADDLE, AND TALKS TO ANIMALS.
A 1ST LIEUTENANT:
RUNS INTO BUILDINGS, RECOGNIZES LOCOMOTIVES TWO OUT OF THREE TIMES,
IS NOT ISSUED AMMUNITION, CAN STAY AFLOAT IF PROPERLY INSTRUCTED, AND TALKS TO WATER.
A 2ND LIEUTENANT:
FALLS OVER DOORSILS WHEN TRYING TO ENTER BUILDINGS, SAYS, “LOOK AT THE CHOO-CHOO”,
WETS HIMSELF WITH A WATER PISTOL, AND MUMBLES TO HIMSELF.
AN NCO:
LIFTS BUILDINGS AND THEN WALKS UNDER THEM,
KICKS LOCOMOTIVES OFF THE TRACK, CATCHES SPEEDING BULLETS IN HIS TEETH AND CHEWS THEM,
AND FREEZES WATER WITH A SINGLE GLANCE. HE IS GOD!!
-THE IMAGE OF RANK-
A GENERAL:
LEAPS TALL BUILDINGS IN A SINGLE BOUND,
IS MORE POWERFUL THAN A LOCOMOTIVE, IS FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET,
WALKS ON WATER, AND GIVES POLICY TO GOD.
A COLONEL:
LEAPS SHORT BUILDINGS WITH A SINGLE BOUND,
IS MORE POWERFUL THAN A SWITCH ENGINE, IS JUST AS FAST AS A SPEEDING BULLET,
WALKS ON WATER IF THE SEA IS CALM, AND TALKS TO GOD.
A LIEUTENANT COLONEL:
LEAPS SHORT BUILDINGS WITH A RUNNING START AND A FAVORABLE WIND,
IS ALMOST AS POWERFUL AS A SWITCH ENGINE, IS FASTER THAN A SPEEDING B-B,
WALKS ON WATER IN AN INDOOR SWIMMING POOL, AND TALKS TO GOD “IF” A SPECIAL REQUEST IS APPROVED OF.
A MAJOR:
BARELY CLEARS QUONSET HUTS, LOSES TUG OF WAR WITH LOCOMOTIVES,
CAN FIRE A SPEEDING BULLET, SWIMS WELL, AND IS OCCASIONALLY ADDRESSED BY GOD.
A CAPTAIN:
MAKES HIGH MARKS WHEN TRYING TO LEAP BUILDINGS,
IS RUN OVER BY LOCOMOTIVES, CAN SOMETIMES HANDLE A GUN WITHOUT INFLICTING SELF-INJURY,
CAN DOG-PADDLE, AND TALKS TO ANIMALS.
A 1ST LIEUTENANT:
RUNS INTO BUILDINGS, RECOGNIZES LOCOMOTIVES TWO OUT OF THREE TIMES,
IS NOT ISSUED AMMUNITION, CAN STAY AFLOAT IF PROPERLY INSTRUCTED, AND TALKS TO WATER.
A 2ND LIEUTENANT:
FALLS OVER DOORSILS WHEN TRYING TO ENTER BUILDINGS, SAYS, “LOOK AT THE CHOO-CHOO”,
WETS HIMSELF WITH A WATER PISTOL, AND MUMBLES TO HIMSELF.
AN NCO:
LIFTS BUILDINGS AND THEN WALKS UNDER THEM,
KICKS LOCOMOTIVES OFF THE TRACK, CATCHES SPEEDING BULLETS IN HIS TEETH AND CHEWS THEM,
AND FREEZES WATER WITH A SINGLE GLANCE. HE IS GOD!!
