Sniper & Sharpshooter Forums banner

1 - 20 of 36 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
266 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I thought this was pretty good and you guys in the military would like it

-THE IMAGE OF RANK-

A GENERAL:
LEAPS TALL BUILDINGS IN A SINGLE BOUND,
IS MORE POWERFUL THAN A LOCOMOTIVE, IS FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET,
WALKS ON WATER, AND GIVES POLICY TO GOD.

A COLONEL:
LEAPS SHORT BUILDINGS WITH A SINGLE BOUND,
IS MORE POWERFUL THAN A SWITCH ENGINE, IS JUST AS FAST AS A SPEEDING BULLET,
WALKS ON WATER IF THE SEA IS CALM, AND TALKS TO GOD.

A LIEUTENANT COLONEL:
LEAPS SHORT BUILDINGS WITH A RUNNING START AND A FAVORABLE WIND,
IS ALMOST AS POWERFUL AS A SWITCH ENGINE, IS FASTER THAN A SPEEDING B-B,
WALKS ON WATER IN AN INDOOR SWIMMING POOL, AND TALKS TO GOD “IF” A SPECIAL REQUEST IS APPROVED OF.

A MAJOR:
BARELY CLEARS QUONSET HUTS, LOSES TUG OF WAR WITH LOCOMOTIVES,
CAN FIRE A SPEEDING BULLET, SWIMS WELL, AND IS OCCASIONALLY ADDRESSED BY GOD.

A CAPTAIN:
MAKES HIGH MARKS WHEN TRYING TO LEAP BUILDINGS,
IS RUN OVER BY LOCOMOTIVES, CAN SOMETIMES HANDLE A GUN WITHOUT INFLICTING SELF-INJURY,
CAN DOG-PADDLE, AND TALKS TO ANIMALS.

A 1ST LIEUTENANT:
RUNS INTO BUILDINGS, RECOGNIZES LOCOMOTIVES TWO OUT OF THREE TIMES,
IS NOT ISSUED AMMUNITION, CAN STAY AFLOAT IF PROPERLY INSTRUCTED, AND TALKS TO WATER.

A 2ND LIEUTENANT:
FALLS OVER DOORSILS WHEN TRYING TO ENTER BUILDINGS, SAYS, “LOOK AT THE CHOO-CHOO”,
WETS HIMSELF WITH A WATER PISTOL, AND MUMBLES TO HIMSELF.

AN NCO:
LIFTS BUILDINGS AND THEN WALKS UNDER THEM,
KICKS LOCOMOTIVES OFF THE TRACK, CATCHES SPEEDING BULLETS IN HIS TEETH AND CHEWS THEM,
AND FREEZES WATER WITH A SINGLE GLANCE. HE IS GOD!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
576 Posts
I think it's the 2LT that also has the line:
"Not trusted with sharp objects."

The bit about NCOs... yeah, that's true. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
994 Posts
Duct Tape said:
I thought this was pretty good and you guys in the military would like it

-THE IMAGE OF RANK-

A GENERAL:
...AND GIVES POLICY TO GOD.

AN NCO:
... HE IS GOD!!
I understand the point of the joke was to demonstrate the NCO as the superior man, and I am not disputing this, but the structure of the joke does not ACTUALLY entail this, and so I think it should be edited... because even if an NCO is God, if a General dictates policy for God, the General must be of a higher power none the less... and so as great as the NCO may be, the General is still superior.

I'm just sayin'... :roll:

Scatch Maroo
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
266 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
I just copy/pasted it,please dont arrest me Grammer Officer Maroo.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,222 Posts
AKvsAR said:
Why then "God", does the General get paid more if all he does is give you policy?
Thats how it is anywhere! Private sector, and the Gov't.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
7,927 Posts
Ha! I'll second that, 12twist...

Seriously, not to discredit anyone, it takes a special kinda dude to have the foresight and planning to bring success to an organization, don't matter if he is a General or a CEO...but thats not leadership. Its management.

Its the Sarges of the organization who actually lead people and carry out the foresight and planning, turning it into action.

And nope, not enough pay :p
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
9,894 Posts
In line with this thread:

Question:
"What is the difference between a PFC (Private First Class) and a 1st Lieutenant?"

Answer:
"The private as been promoted twice"


MEL
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
9,894 Posts
No offense to westpointranger, but man, 1st and 2nd LT's have gotten more platoons into trouble than you can shake a stick at...

As long as the butter bar PL's listen to their NCO's, all should go well.... any of you prospective officers out there, remember that!

I remember once, we were having a Class A inspection and a fresh butter bar was inspecting our grizzly ol' Plt Sgt.... he saw a unit citation on the good Sgt's (E-7 in this case) uniform that was not awarded to our unit. The PL smartly commented to the Sgt

"You are not allowed to wear another units citations unless you were with that unit when it earned it"

The Sgt's reply still sticks in my head

"I Know".

More than a few snickers were heard in the ranks. Good ol' Sgt. LaFountine served 2 tours in vietnam.... boy I wonder what he's up to these days....

MEL
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
383 Posts
Jeff_850 said:
some (good) officers were once Privates... they (OCS) make the best officers more often than not IMO
Indeed.

I've PMed (replied) to serveral people asking me about NCO's / LT relationships. Listen to the NCO's, ask for advice when you need it, and drive on.

You will always have jerk LTs, dumb LTs, and good and smart ones. Just luck of the draw.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
222 Posts
Give it a #@&*@# break Scatch, God!!!. Are you trying to ruin a good joke?. Send him a pm if you want him to change something. Notice how you are the only one who even said something like that, everyone else was enjoying the joke.

I like the joke a lot AS IT IS!!!!
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
9,894 Posts
AK said:
"If you are E4 and he is 2LT, that does not mean: "I have been promoted four more times than you."
Yep, you are right, it actually means he has been promoted three times more than the 2LT. :D (The E-4 comes in as E-1 and would need to be promoted three times to get to E-4. A 2nd LT comes in as a 2nd LT and has not yet been promoted)

MEL
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
9,894 Posts
It is a pay grade that is associated with a rank. So you can say the pay grade and everyone knows what the rank is.

For the US Army:

E-1 Private
E-2 Private E2 (misquito wings)
E-3 Private First Class (PFC)
E-4 Specialist/Corporal
E-5 Sergeant
E-6 Staff Sergeant
E-7 Sergeant First Class
E-8 Master Sergeant, First Sergeant
E-9 Sergeant Major, Command Sergeant Major, Sergeant Major of the Army

There is also an O scale for Officer (commissioned officers)

O-1 2nd Lieutenant
O-2 1st Lieutenant
O-3 Captain
O-4 Major
O-5 Lt. Colonel
O-6 Colonel (also known as "Full Bird Colonel)
O-7 Brigadier General (1 star)
O-8 Major General (2 star)
O-9 Lieutenant General (3 star)
O-10 General (4 star)

There is also a "General of the Army" which is five stars, but it is wartime only and there has not been a general of the army since Korea (Bradley). There can be no more than 4 "5 star" generals at once. There has only been a total of 5 ever.

MEL
 
1 - 20 of 36 Posts
Top